The Peace by Piece Philosophy
Building this practice meant asking myself some important questions. How did I want to show up in this profession? What message did I want people to walk away with? And perhaps most importantly, how did I want someone to feel when they sat across from me for the first time? The answers came surprisingly easily once I thought about why I became a psychologist in the first place. To help others in a way that did not feel like they were being judged and to create a safe space to deal with all of the uncertainty in life.
The more I have sat across from people seeking help, the more I have come to realize that the healing process is almost never what we expect it to be. We want clear goals, timelines, and changes that happen much quicker than reality allows. Healing rarely follows the timeline we hope for. It unfolds slowly, often in ways we don't recognize until we look back. I believe real healing happens when we feel safe enough to be honest, with another person, and eventually with ourselves.
What Makes Peace by Piece Different
So many therapeutic practices market the idea of “whole person” healing. But what does that actually mean and how does Peace by Piece actually implement that? For me, it means not just looking at a list of symptoms. The list of symptoms you present with is only one piece of a very large puzzle. When we forget to look at the whole picture, we can get very stuck on what is just in front of us.
I work very hard to help my clients take those pieces and understand why they are part of their puzzle, where it connects to other pieces, and where that piece fits into the whole picture. And the most important part of this all that I remind myself and my clients - this is an ever changing puzzle. So once we think we figure out the bigger picture and where certain pieces go, it still might change and be a different image than we thought.
My job isn't to decide which piece matters most. It's to help my clients understand how all of the pieces fit together.
“Be Curious, Not Judgmental”
When I first heard this quote, it was actually being quoted in one of my favorite shows - Ted Lasso. And what made this my favorite quote was how Ted explained it and related to it himself. (I greatly encourage anyone and everyone to watch Ted Lasso if you have not seen it yet!) But the general gist of the scene is that Ted has come to understand the world without judgement and those who choose to judge lack curiosity about what is in front of them. And that is not his burden to bear, it is theirs. They are the one’s missing out on getting to know him, and assumably many other aspects of life, because they chose judgement over curiosity.
I think curiosity is what led me to psychology in the first place. I've always wanted to understand why people do what they do. Not so I could label them, but so I could understand them. Every client who walks into my office has a story that makes sense once we're willing to look closely enough.
Where Peace by Piece Comes From
That's ultimately where the name Peace by Piece came from.
Most people assume it's about putting yourself back together after you've fallen apart. But I've never believed people are broken.
I believe we are constantly growing. We collect experiences, relationships, losses, victories, fears, hopes, and expectations throughout our lives. Some of those pieces fit together easily. Others seem confusing or even contradictory. Therapy isn't about throwing those pieces away or pretending they don't exist. It is about slowing down and being curious enough to understand how they fit into the bigger picture.
Sometimes that picture changes. Sometimes we discover a piece belonged somewhere completely different than we originally thought. And that is more than okay. It can be hard to remember that the goal isn't to finish the puzzle, but rather to simply to understand it a little better. And with more understanding, comes more compassion. That's where meaningful change begins.
I don't expect my clients to leave therapy with every answer. Life (and therapy) simply doesn't work that way. But if they leave understanding themselves a little more deeply, showing themselves a little more compassion, and becoming a little more curious instead of critical, then we've done meaningful work.
That's what Peace by Piece has always meant to me.
Before You Go, Consider This…
This week, notice the moments when your first reaction is self-criticism or where there might be more judgment than curiosity.
What is one part of yourself you've been judging lately?
What would change if you approached that part with curiosity instead?
Is there a piece of your story you've been trying to ignore because it doesn't seem to fit?
What if it belongs exactly where it is and you just haven't seen the whole picture yet?
