Why Has Neurodivergence Become Such a Buzzword? (And What Are We Missing?)
It feels like everywhere you look today, someone is talking about neurodivergence. Friends and family are having conversations about it, social media is filled with people sharing their lived experiences, and more people than ever are wondering whether the stories they relate to might also describe them.
Yet despite becoming a common part of our everyday vocabulary, neurodivergence is also widely misunderstood. Many people are left asking, What does it actually mean? and Why does it suddenly seem like everyone is talking about ADHD, autism, or being neurodivergent? Alongside greater awareness has come greater confusion, and with it, a number of misconceptions about what neurodivergence is.
Social media has played a very large role in the shift of this conversation. While many creators genuinely hope to educate and increase awareness, short-form content often struggles to capture the nuance these conversations deserve. As a result, people may leave feeling more confused than informed, or even develop skepticism about neurodivergence altogether.
I believe the growing conversation around neurodivergence is ultimately a good thing. More awareness leads to more understanding, more acceptance, and more people receiving the support they need. The challenge isn't that we're talking about neurodivergence, it's that we're often talking about it without enough depth. Without that, we can become too focused on only one piece of the puzzle.
Neurodivergence Isn’t New, Our Awareness is
The term ‘neurodiversity’ is not something that is new. It arose in the late 1990’s and has been largely attributed to Judy Singer, a sociologist whose aim was to reframe neurological differences as part of the natural variation in human brains. Kassiane Asasumasu then built upon this idea and coined the termed ‘neurodivergent’ to represent individuals whose cognitive functioning diverges from social norms in numerous ways. Since then, research and understanding about neurodivergence has only continued to grow.
Even though the term itself is not as new as the hype around neurodivergence, it is still fairly new in the general understanding of human behavior and neurological functioning. This idea opened the door to understanding certain disorders, such as Autism and ADHD, through a different lens. Rather than just seeing the deficits or pathology, this new lens considered both the challenges and the strengths that accompany these diagnoses.
Historically, our understanding of conditions like ADHD and autism was largely based on how they presented in young boys. As the research expanded, clinicians recognized that these conditions can look very different across individuals, particularly in girls and people who developed effective masking or compensatory strategies. This has led many adults to seek evaluations after years of feeling "different" without understanding why.
Also, because of social media and more transparency around this issue, there has been reduced stigma and more awareness about what neurodivergence is and what the symptoms are. With reduced stigma and more visibility, it makes complete sense that people are talking about neurodivergence more. Additionally, clinicians are getting more training in identifying these related disorders. As a result of all of this, more people are getting accurate diagnoses, more research is being funded and conducted, and more people are sharing about their own lived experiences without fear of judgment.
Neurodivergence is not new. The people who are being recognized today have always been here. The difference is that we now have more language, research, and awareness to understand their experiences. But increased awareness brings another challenge: when more people recognize pieces of themselves in neurodivergent experiences, how do we distinguish between a relatable human experience and a clinically meaningful difference?
The Question Isn’t ‘Am I Neurodivergent?’
People want to understand themselves. That is human nature. Many people find that having a label or diagnosis that explains their experience validating and supportive, which is why I think many people are wondering if they themselves are neurodivergent. They procrastinate so they wonder if they have ADHD. Social encounters can be difficult so they question if Autism is the right diagnosis. They like things in a particular order so they think they have OCD (though, wanting things a particular way is not in fact what OCD is, but that’s for another post).
The reality is, everyone has traits that may look like neurodivergence. But what makes up neurodivergence is not just a series of traits or lived experiences. It is much more than that. Neurodivergence itself is not a diagnosis, therefore does not have attributed ‘symptoms’, which is extremely important to clarify. Autism, ADHD, OCD, dyslexia are all diagnoses. A diagnosis requires a pattern of characteristics that is consistent over time and meaningfully impacts functioning…which is where I think we may all get a little lost. Diagnostic criteria exists not to invalidate people's experiences, but to help clinicians distinguish between common human experiences, situational struggles, and patterns that may benefit from specific support or intervention.
We want to understand what makes our struggles a struggle. We want to understand why we do what we do. The most important thing about the conversation of neurodivergence is not whether or not you think you have those traits, because you very well might. The question that is most important is, “Do my traits, patterns, and struggles meet diagnostic criteria?” And while that question may require the support of a professional to answer, the bigger question remains: “What do I need to better understand myself and feel supported?”
The desire to understand ourselves is often the first step toward self-compassion and growth. But understanding ourselves requires sitting with some uncertainty, and that is something many of us find uncomfortable. In a world where we can search for answers within seconds, we have become better at finding explanations, but perhaps less comfortable with the process of discovering them.
We Are Better At Recognizing Differences, But Worse At Tolerating Discomfort
For many people, discovering neurodivergence is a moment of relief. It provides language for experiences they may have struggled to explain for years and can open the door to compassion, support, and accommodations. But like any explanation, it is important that we remain curious about whether it fully explains the picture.
As humans, we have a narrative in our head about who we are. When there are parts we don’t understand, we seek answers. The challenge is that sometimes we become attached to an answer before we have explored all the possibilities, or we may resist answers that do not align with the story we have created about ourselves. I see both happen frequently in individuals who are seeking neurodivergent assessments. They have either found relatability in neurodivergence, therefore can assume that must be what they are experiencing, or struggle to accept that neurodivergence could be a possibility. I write this with no judgment, as I have said we are all just seeking answers. But the inability to accept something that is different from that narrative or the answer we believe to be true is a cause for pause. The ability to sit with discomfort is one of the most important skills we can develop as human beings. Unfortunately, I sometimes see the idea of acceptance become less about understanding and more about avoiding the discomfort of uncertainty.
In today’s age, acceptance is huge. As it should be. We need to accept each others differences, we need to accept the hard parts about the ones we love, and most importantly we need to accept the struggles we may face. At times, however, acceptance can unintentionally shift from curiosity into creating certainty before the full picture is known. I am not saying that someone’s lived experience is not true, but rather the inflexibility in tolerating that the conclusion they have drawn about that experience may not align with what they thought. The ability to get uncomfortable, to be wrong, is the best way to discover the truth of the matter. It helps guide us in seeing the most complete picture, not just the pieces we think fit best.
This is a real challenge to call out being too accepting - because we can never be too accepting of our differences. But we can, at times, be too accepting of our own need for comfort. Not every situation comes with a diagnosis, and that can be frustrating. It is frustrating being the clinician on the other side of it. I want more than anything to provide an explanation that helps someone better understand themselves, because I know how powerful that understanding can be. But sometimes the answer is not a diagnosis. Sometimes the answer is that you are a human living a human experience. And while that answer may feel less satisfying, it does not make the experience any less real.
My goal in this section is to challenge, not invalidate. I do not want people to doubt their own experiences. I want people to trust what they know about themselves while also remaining open to the possibility that the complete picture may look different than they initially imagined.
What We Might Be Missing
Every piece of the puzzle matters. We seek to find the missing pieces or explore the pieces we do not understand. When it comes to neurodivergence, I think we are sometimes missing the broader understanding of human behavior and the many factors that shape our experiences. Have we fully taken into account the true impact of social media on communication and connection? Have we looked to understand how our culture promotes a quick lifestyle, therefore leading to frequent burnout? Have we considered how different experiences can result in similar traits or symptoms? Every one of these things are so important to consider when discussing the nuance of neurodivergence. We are all affected by different things, yet we have many similarities.
This does not mean that neurodivergence is not real, or that these experiences should be dismissed. In fact, the opposite is true. Understanding neurodivergence requires us to look at all of the pieces that contribute to a person's experience…their biology, their environment, their history, their relationships, their strengths, and their struggles. The truth is, we may never be able to perfectly separate every piece of the puzzle or understand exactly how each one contributes to our experiences.
And still, all of the pieces matter. The problem is not in looking at specific pieces, it is when we forget about how they fit in into the overall picture. When the bigger picture is not the goal, it can become very easy to become transfixed on specific traits, symptoms, or experiences. This is ultimately the heart of this entire conversation: neurodivergence is one piece of the bigger picture when it comes to understanding mental health and human beings as a whole. We can continue to seek understanding without needing every answer immediately. We can hold curiosity about the pieces we do not yet understand while still honoring the pieces we do. We cannot forget that the goal is to continue to grow and learn to the best of our ability, while not losing sight of what we already know and hope to understand.
Before You Go, Consider This…
Use these questions help understand yourself and remember it is not about finding the quickest answer. It is about being willing to explore the full picture.
What am I hoping a diagnosis would help me understand?
Have I considered other factors that may be contributing to my experiences?
Am I staying open to learning something unexpected about myself?
What patterns have consistently impacted my life?
What support do I need right now?
